Just get back with my manager discussion about this career path of mine.
It's just getting confusing. Like I am taken aback when heard about several statements.
Jittery and relief are mixed in one place.
Jittery, I wonder where I am going to do next. This work of mine seems like pretty amusing and promising at first, you are given well-paid salary, enough exposure to stakeholders, but above all, it offers uncertainty. Uncertainty about what's my next destination after this internship program. Who will keep me in the next job? I dont wanna be homeless. I want to get home and the chaperone who will keep me because my job. It turned out that the home I wanted to go, offering the hurdles. I was once in that home, but my track record wasnt good enough that time. So its hard for me to get back to that home again. Yeah, wasnt good enough when you were trying to keep your values on track, wasnt good enough when you saw your colleagues cheating, wasnt good enough when you were not well-briefed during your first time job, wasnt good enough when you were all by yourself figuring what the job truly was.
Relief, I know the hard truth. As simple as I know what happened. The ugly truth.
1. When you know the truth that people has the other agenda when talking to you. When talking about, yeah, we judge you by the process, but apparently, its just their service because at the end of the day, they judge result.
2. When you think you were good enough realizing that your effort exerted was great even though the result wasnt good. Yeah, thats your thought, yours only. it doesnt belong to your surrounding.
3. You have to move from your current home when it is over, because other person is going to replace you. Eventhough your housemom is super angelic, but she couldnt promise to make other vacancy to you because the position is left temporary.
What do I do?
I try not to be overthinking about it, even though those truths are indeed slapping you on the face. At least, yes this door is shut, but what about other doors? Is there always doors available for those who try and pray?
It's just getting confusing. Like I am taken aback when heard about several statements.
Jittery and relief are mixed in one place.
Jittery, I wonder where I am going to do next. This work of mine seems like pretty amusing and promising at first, you are given well-paid salary, enough exposure to stakeholders, but above all, it offers uncertainty. Uncertainty about what's my next destination after this internship program. Who will keep me in the next job? I dont wanna be homeless. I want to get home and the chaperone who will keep me because my job. It turned out that the home I wanted to go, offering the hurdles. I was once in that home, but my track record wasnt good enough that time. So its hard for me to get back to that home again. Yeah, wasnt good enough when you were trying to keep your values on track, wasnt good enough when you saw your colleagues cheating, wasnt good enough when you were not well-briefed during your first time job, wasnt good enough when you were all by yourself figuring what the job truly was.
Relief, I know the hard truth. As simple as I know what happened. The ugly truth.
1. When you know the truth that people has the other agenda when talking to you. When talking about, yeah, we judge you by the process, but apparently, its just their service because at the end of the day, they judge result.
2. When you think you were good enough realizing that your effort exerted was great even though the result wasnt good. Yeah, thats your thought, yours only. it doesnt belong to your surrounding.
3. You have to move from your current home when it is over, because other person is going to replace you. Eventhough your housemom is super angelic, but she couldnt promise to make other vacancy to you because the position is left temporary.
What do I do?
I try not to be overthinking about it, even though those truths are indeed slapping you on the face. At least, yes this door is shut, but what about other doors? Is there always doors available for those who try and pray?
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