Things were going so rough this week (Phew, I'm using english instead of Indonesian again). I have to keep telling my self all over again that I need a break to think over what's been occurring in the past days.
Well, I questioned these many why's in my life recently? I didnt get the place I want in my career, I didnt get the salary increase as much as I expected, and why I was told to be in the place that in my opinion didnt really offer robust learning for my career.
Then, I realized it all happened, there were nothing else I could do. Gavel was pounded, things were decided. I had no higher power to amend the decision. It was hurt at the first, I was crying overnight, I decided to take a work from home only to calm my nerves down. I was so upset, oh no more disappointed. I was losing direction and hope at the same time.
Then, I reflect. I was too consumed to my disappointment. My energy was drained out. Left the negative thought, while nothing productive I did during the time. I wasted my energy for nothing.
Then, I remembered, those my glorious day. Not because my achievement, instead by the maturity I possessed back then. Compared to now, I didnt get to achieve what I achieve now, but I was so happy and content. During that time, back in my junior school era, I was bullied, didnt get many friends, I was neither smart nor clever student, I was having this teenager issue with my whole family, but I could control my emotion. Why?
Then, I get the answer. I was so full of acceptance. I accepted things happened for reasons, failure directed me to a better path, failure taught me to work harder without any excessive expectation, patience was my fruitful blessing from God, and et cetera. I was far more wise back then.
So what happened to me now? Yes, I got this too much worries, what if I couldn't sustain my family life, what if I couldn't make my family happy, and a lot of what ifs.
I know, I have this prime homework. I know the answer: I have to get rid all of this worries and let the self assurance and acceptance in to my mind.
Well, I questioned these many why's in my life recently? I didnt get the place I want in my career, I didnt get the salary increase as much as I expected, and why I was told to be in the place that in my opinion didnt really offer robust learning for my career.
Then, I realized it all happened, there were nothing else I could do. Gavel was pounded, things were decided. I had no higher power to amend the decision. It was hurt at the first, I was crying overnight, I decided to take a work from home only to calm my nerves down. I was so upset, oh no more disappointed. I was losing direction and hope at the same time.
Then, I reflect. I was too consumed to my disappointment. My energy was drained out. Left the negative thought, while nothing productive I did during the time. I wasted my energy for nothing.
Then, I remembered, those my glorious day. Not because my achievement, instead by the maturity I possessed back then. Compared to now, I didnt get to achieve what I achieve now, but I was so happy and content. During that time, back in my junior school era, I was bullied, didnt get many friends, I was neither smart nor clever student, I was having this teenager issue with my whole family, but I could control my emotion. Why?
Then, I get the answer. I was so full of acceptance. I accepted things happened for reasons, failure directed me to a better path, failure taught me to work harder without any excessive expectation, patience was my fruitful blessing from God, and et cetera. I was far more wise back then.
So what happened to me now? Yes, I got this too much worries, what if I couldn't sustain my family life, what if I couldn't make my family happy, and a lot of what ifs.
I know, I have this prime homework. I know the answer: I have to get rid all of this worries and let the self assurance and acceptance in to my mind.
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